Despite Her Wishes
by Topsy
Summary: What if Doug came back even when Carol asked him not to.....
1. Despite Her Wishes

Please title this page. (Page 1)

o-----o 

August 3rd 

o-----o 

"Hello?" Carol asked, picking up the phone in the lounge. 

"Carol," She heard Doug's voice on the other end. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Did you get my fax?" She asked. 

"Mm, yeah," He replied softly. 

"So," She sighed a little, "What are you thinking?" She asked quietly. 

"I wish you would have told me sooner," He said. 

"I wanted to make sure I didn't miscarry," Carol said. 

"And if you had?" He wondered aloud. Carol didn't answer. "I want to come back. Come home." 

"No, Doug," Carol said firmly. 

"Carol. Why not?" He asked. 

"Because I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing you came back for the baby." 

"I'd be coming back for both of you," He said. 

"You can't come back," Carol's breath hitched a little and she bit her bottom lip. 

"Please, Carol," He whispered fiercely. 

"No. I won't let you back in my life," Carol said. She heard him let out a shaky breath. 

"If that's what you want," Doug trailed off, leaving the sentence open for Carol to tell him that wasn't what she wanted. 

"Yes," She whispered and felt the first tear fall from her eye. 

"Alright," Doug murmured gruffly. "Tell the baby I love it." 

"I will." 

"I love you, Carol." She didn't reply. 

"Good bye, Doug," She said before placing the phone back on the receiver. Carol sat in a chair and bent her head, letting the tears fall freely now, her hands clasped tightly together in her lap. 

o-----o 

Carol, Elizabeth and Mark sat in a booth in Mary's Diner, a small restaurant not far from the hospital. Carol sat drinking her milkshake quietly as Mark and Elizabeth chatted about anything and everything besides Elizabeth's job and Doug. 

"So, Carol, have you thought of any names for the baby yet?" Elizabeth asked finally. Carol glanced up. 

"Hm?" She asked. 

"Have you thought of any names for the baby yet?" Elizabeth asked once again. Carol shook her head. 

"No," She replied and looked as if she was going to continue but instead took another sip of her milkshake. 

"Want to talk about it?" Elizabeth murmured. Carol smiled weakly. 

"I'm going to be a single mother," She said with a slight shrug and looked out the window. Elizabeth glanced at Mark and he sighed silently as he met Elizabeth's gaze. 

o-----o 

Doug settled into the airplane, gazing out the window. He knew Carol would be upset with him when he showed up at her house, but there was no way in hell he was going to leave her back in Chicago, alone and pregnant. He had almost decided to come back to Chicago anyway and her being pregnant was the last straw. 

Doug shifted in the blue seat and closed his eyes, replaying images of Carol and him through his mind like miniature movies. His thoughts were interrupted as a baby a few seats behind him began to cry. Doug listened to the mother shush the child and Doug immediately thought of Carol again. 

No, she definitely was not going to do it alone. 

o-----o 

The next morning, Carol awoke to a knock on the door. She glanced at her clock and saw it was 9:13. She didn't have to go to work that day, so she got to sleep in later than usual. She was surprised she had slept that late, considering she hadn't been sleeping well lately because of Doug and her pregnancy. 

At the next knock, Carol made her way out of the bed, shivering slightly before bundling into her dark green robe. She tied it around her waist and tucked her hands into the pockets before heading out of the bedroom. At the third knock, she reached the door and twisted the knob and pulled the first door open. Then she unlocked the second one and quickly opened it, only to find herself face to face with Doug. 

They simply stared at each other for a few moments before Carol gathered her bearings. She began to close the door but Doug's arm shot out and held it open. 

"Carol, please." 

"I have nothing to say to you," She whispered. His eyes pleaded. 

"Just let me come in for awhile, please, Carol, please," She stared at him for a few moments before turning and stepping into the warm living room. He sighed silently in relief and followed her into the house, closing the doors behind him to ward off some of the early morning chill. Carol made her way into the kitchen and glanced briefly at Doug. 

"Do you want anything to drink?" She asked. 

"No," He replied. She nodded and reached up, getting a glass out of the cupboard before she opened the refrigerator and got out a carton of milk. She wanted coffee to help her be more alert for the conversation she was about to have, but she hadn't drank caffeine since she had found out she was pregnant because it was not good for the baby. She poured herself a glass and put the milk away. Carol picked up her glass and went into the living room before taking a seat on the couch and placing her milk on the coffee table in front of her without even taking a drink. Doug watched her the entire time and sat after she did, but kept a good two feet away from her, giving her the distance he felt she needed and wanted. Finally he spoke. 

"I know you told me not to come back, but I had to, Carol." 

"Why?" She asked, looking at him. His faced expressed all the pain and frustration he was feeling. 

"Because I love you and I'm not going to let you do this alone," He said. 

"Doug, you left me. Me. But now you're coming back for me because you don't want me to have a child alone. Why shouldn't I feel that you're coming back for the baby?" She asked. 

"No. I left because I didn't have work. I didn't leave you. You chose not to come," He said. 

"This is my home!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands out. "Everything I know is here. Everything I love is here. You asked me to give that all up," She said. 

"I thought I was more important than all of that," He paused, "but I was wrong." 

"I thought I was important enough for you to stay," She told him, "but I was wrong." He looked down. 

"I couldn't stay here, Carol." 

"I believe we've gone over that many times," She said angrily. He lifted his head and reached for her hand but she pulled away, denting his heart some more. He let his hand fall to his lap. 

"I quit my job in Seattle so I could come back to you." 

"For the baby." 

"No, for you and the baby," He corrected. She stood, looking down at him. 

"You only came back for me because of the baby," She said and walked back to the kitchen. He got up from the couch and followed her, touching a hand to her shoulder and turning her towards him. 

"You're wrong," He sighed, "I love you, Carol. More than anything or anyone I've ever loved before." 

"If that's the truth, why did you leave for a job? If I'm more important to you than a job, why did you go?" Carol asked. 

"Because I'm an asshole. Because I hadn't changed as much as I thought I had. I ran away from Chicago because I was ashamed. No one would hire me because they all knew about what I had done. And I ran because I only thought of myself. My old habit to run when things got rough kicked in. So I left the most important thing in my life because I was ashamed and selfish. Narcissism elevated to a high art, in your words. I left because I knew you were right. And then I left because I knew you wouldn't come with me and it hurt to know that," He finally stopped and looked into Carol's hazel eyes. He took a deep breath before continuing on. 

"I don't really expect you to forgive me or, or to take me back," He paused, "but I want to be a father more than anything. If you won't have me, please let me stay for our child," He had tears in his eyes which surprised Carol. She had never seen him cry before, for any reason. Not even when she had went to California after his father had died. "I came back for you, because of you, but maybe I did come back for the baby, also. Because I, we, both know what it's like to grow up without a father. I can't do that to my child. I did it to the other one but this is entirely different because I love you. Therefore I love your children, my children. Please don't make me go," He finished in a hoarse whisper. 

Carol simply stared at him, watching the tears swim in his eyes. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts. There was an internal war raging inside of her. Take him back or not? Part of her felt guilty for pushing him away when he had been in such a position but the other part of her was still hurt by him leaving. She glanced away from him and walked back to the living room. He simply stood, watching her, knowing the battle she was fighting with herself. He bowed his head and wished he had never had to put her into that position. 

"Carol," He murmured. She turned to look at him. "Whatever else, I'm sorry," He said it wish such sadness and guilt that she couldn't help but open her heart to him. 

"Oh Doug," She murmured and her eyes filled with tears. She walked to him and placed a hand on his cheek. He turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand as he reached out with his hand to take her other hand into his own. Carol stepped closer and buried her face into the hollow of his neck as she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. His breath shuddered out in relief and he gathered her as closely as he could, burying his nose in her hair. 

Finally he turned her face to his and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss so sweet and tender that it brought more tears to her eyes. One of his hands drifted down and spread across her stomach, which caused her tears to spill over. 

"I love you." He whispered as they pulled away. She smiled then, her eyes swimming and her cheeks wet. 

"I love you, too." She replied and pressed her lips to his again. 

o-----o 


	2. Despite Her Wishes Chapter Two

Please title this page. (Page 2)

o-----o 

August 4th-8th, 01 

o-----o 

This chapter takes place the day after the last one ended. Carol's pregnancy will progress rather quickly through this one. 

o-----o 

Carol stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom. She had just heard the shower stop running in the bathroom and knew Doug would be coming out soon. She lifted her shirt and turned sideways and gazed at her stomach. She placed her hand on the small roundness of it and smiled slightly, just as Doug came out of the bathroom, only in his boxers. He rubbed the blue towel over his head and looked at her. 

"What are you doing?" He asked softly, coming over to her. She glanced at him before turning back to the image she saw in the mirror. 

"Look," She murmured. He ticked his head to the side and glanced down at her stomach in the mirror and his lips curved. 

"I see a little belly," He said and walked to her. She grinned up at him. 

"I'm starting to show," She said. 

"Two and a half months," He said and placed his hand on her stomach, spreading his fingers as wide as he could. He chuckled softly and got down to his knees. He moved his hands to her hips and kissed her tummy gently. Carol smiled down at him and ran her fingers through his hair. He laid his cheek on her stomach and turned to the mirror. She turned to the mirror when she saw he did and met his gaze. He smiled. 

"I love you," He whispered quietly to her stomach before standing and taking her into his arms. She smiled softly after he kissed her. "And I love you, Carol," He said. 

"I love you, too," They simply stayed in each other's arms for a few minutes, embracing silently to make up for the months he had been gone. Finally Carol turned her face up to his and asked the question that had been on her mind since the night before. 

"What will you do for work?" She asked quietly. He shrugged. 

"I'll call around," He said. She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to worry about it, Carol." 

"I know," She murmured. 

o-----o 

Carol walked out of the lounge and made her way to the admit desk. Mark looked up at her and she smiled brightly at him. 

"Hey Mark." 

"Doug's here, isn't he?" Mark asked. She looked up at him and then nodded. 

"Yeah, he came back last night. How did you know?" She asked. 

"I could tell just by looking at you," He said. She smiled and laughed a bit. 

"Well...We argued when he first got here. But..," She rolled her sparkling eyes a bit, "you know, Doug. He convinced me to take him back," Mark smiled widely. 

"Well, I'm happy for you. For the both of you. Tell Doug to give me a call," Mark said. Carol nodded happily and went about her work. 

Lydia who had overheard the conversation immediately rushed off to tell Haleh and the others. 

o-----o 

Five hours later, Carol was standing at the admit desk, unconsciously rubbing her back which ached slightly. She had been on her feet since she had gotten there. Trauma after trauma had come in, which meant everyone was needed. 

Now, finally, there was a break in the patients and Carol got to take a short break of her own. So she was sitting at the desk, eating a late lunch. 

"Carol?" Carol looked up to see Donald Anspaugh standing in front of her. 

"Oh, hello Dr. Anspaugh," Carol said, somewhat surprised. "I think Kerry is in Exam Two." 

"Actually, I came to speak to you," Carol was taken aback, but she nodded. 

"Alright," She said. 

"Can we go into the lounge for some privacy?" He asked. She nodded, somewhat puzzled. 

"Sure," She answered. They walked into the lounge where Carter was sitting, drinking a cup of coffee. "Carter, could you..," Carol trailed off and he nodded as he saw Dr. Anspaugh behind her. 

"Sure, Carol," He smiled and nodded at Donald before leaving the lounge, mug in hand. Carol turned to Dr. Anspaugh and he nodded. 

"Is there something I can do for you?" Carol asked somewhat nervously. 

"Actually, there might be. But I have a question," He replied. Carol nodded and swallowed. 

"Rumor is that Dr. Ross has come back to Chicago. To stay," Dr. Anspaugh said. Carol was silent for a few moments, shocked. 

"Uh, yes, he came back last night," She said when she found her voice. 

"Is he here to stay?" 

"Yes, he is," Carol replied. 

"I'd like to offer him a position at the hospital," Anspaugh said. Carol's eyes widened in amazement. 

"You would?" She asked before she could stop herself. Donald chuckled slightly in amusement. 

"Yes, I would. Not in the ER, though, I'm afraid. But we need another doctor on the pedes floor and if Dr. Ross is interested, I'd like you to have him give me a call," Anspaugh said. Carol nodded. 

"Okay. I'll tell him," She said. 

"Good. Thank you, Carol," He said. She nodded and watched as he exited the lounge. Carol made her way to the couch and took a seat, still somewhat surprised by Donald's offer. 

o-----o 

A few hours later Carol pushed her way into the house, anxious to find Doug, wondering if he was really there, if she had dreamed it all. She let out a silent sigh of relief when she saw him standing over the stove in the kitchen. She grinned as he turned to her. 

"Hey Doug." 

"Hey Carol," He replied in equal tones, smiling at her. She walked around the wall and into the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. 

"Whatcha doin'?" She asked. 

"Making dinner," He replied. She looked behind him and saw the pot simmering on the stove. 

"Spagetti?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. He nodded. 

"I hope that's okay, I forgot to ask you before you left," He said. She licked her lips. 

"Sounds yummy," She said. His gaze dropped to her wet mouth and lingered there. 

"Does it?" Carol grinned and leaned forward, tantalizing him. "Mmm," He murmured and pressed his lips to hers, cradling her close to him. Finally she pulled away. 

"I have some news for you," She said. He raised his eyebrows and leaned back a bit. 

"Oh?" She nodded. 

"Donald Anspaugh and I spoke today," She said. Doug ticked his head to the side. 

"About?" He asked. 

"You," Carol smiled. 

"Well, are you going to tell me about what today?" Doug asked. 

"He wanted to know if the rumor he had heard about you coming back to Chicago to stay was true and I said yes. So he told me he would like to offer you a position at the hospital," Carol said and watched Doug's face closely for a reaction. She didn't get much except for a flicker in Doug's eyes. 

"What position?" He asked. 

"Well, not in the ER," Carol said and watched another flicker of emotion in Doug's eyes but she couldn't quite identify it. "But he said they need another pedes doctor on the pedes floor and if you're interested you are to give him a call," Carol finished. 

"Well," Doug considered, looking up at the ceiling, "I'd get to work at County and you'd be there. We could go to lunch." 

"But you wouldn't get to treat emergency patients," Carol finished. 

"But, I'd still get to treat kids and sometimes if they needed me I would float to the ER," Doug said. 

"Doug, I don't want you to make any rash decisions. You could get a job in another ER," Carol said. 

"Could, but I don't want to go to a different hospital. Not now that you're pregnant." 

"But Doug, I don't want you to take a job because of me," Carol said. 

"Carol, listen to me. I probably wouldn't get a job in another ER, at least not around here. I might get a job in a private practice or at a clinic or something and I'd be doing the same thing there that I'd be doing at County as a pedes doctor. But I'd also get to work at the same hospital as you. It wouldn't be the same as the ER, but it would be okay, Carol." 

"You should give it more thought," Carol worried. Doug smiled and kissed her gently. 

"I'll call Donald tonight," Doug said. Carol sighed. 

"I hope you're not making the wrong decision." 

"I'm not," Doug reassured her and kissed her once more. 

o-----o 

"So?" Carol asked as Doug hung up the phone. She had decided to give him some privacy when he called Dr. Anspaugh, but she had to ask. He turned to her as she washed dishes in the kitchen. 

"I got a job as a pedes doctor on the pedes floor at Cook County General," He said. She smiled. 

"That's great," She said. He came around the wall and into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his hands on her stomach. He turned his nose into the hollow between her shoulder and her neck and breathed in her soapy scent. 

"I love you," He murmured, silently thanking her for understanding. She smiled and leaned back against him for a moment. Then he released her and picked up a dish towel to help her dry dishes. She smiled again and began to wash a plate. 

o-----o 

"You're probably far enough along to be able to tell what the baby's gender is. Would you like to know?" Dr. MacLucas asked. 

"Yes," Doug said. 

"No," Carol said at the same time as Doug. 

"I thought you wanted to know," Doug said. 

"I thought you didn't want to know," Carol replied. 

"It doesn't matter. If you want to know, that's fine," Doug said. Carol smiled and squeezed his hands as MacLucas watched them. Carol turned back to the doctor. 

"We don't want to know," Carol said and looked at Doug. He raised his eyebrows at her and she grinned. "It might be nice to be surprised." He chuckled and kissed her knuckles. 

"We should just be lucky that for a doctor I don't know how to tell," Doug said. 

"I don't know how either," Carol replied. 

"Then we're alright," Doug replied. She smiled and looked at the monitor as MacLucas flipped it on. MacLucas moved the paddle around on Carol's slightly swollen abdomen. 

"Ah, there we go," She pointed at the heartbeat. "A nice steady heartbeat. Everything's looks good." Doug watched in awe at the picture on the screen. 

"Wow," He murmured, his throat tightening with emotion. He reached out and trace his hand over the baby's outline on the screen. "Wow," He repeated as he looked back at Carol. Her eyes were glistening with tears and she smiled. 

"Wow," She repeated him and nodded. He bent over her and kissed her quickly. 

"I love you," He said. She squeezed his hand. 

"I love you too," She replied. 

o-----o 

Doug glanced at the alarm clock. 6:58 am, it read. He had to be in to work at 8:00. He settled his head back against Carol's breast, his hands on her six-month stomach. Carol ran her fingers through his hair, trying to flatten out the parts that were sticking up from his sleep. A small smile touched her lips as she smoothed her hand over his hair and it popped right back up. Doug glanced up at her. 

"Did the baby wake you?" He asked. She looked at him, her hands coming to a stop now. 

"Yeah, he gets confused at what's nighttime and what's not," Carol replied softly. Doug smiled and kissed her stomach. 

"Baby, you're keeping your mama awake," Doug said. Carol smiled as she watched him, thanking God once again that he had come back to her, despite her wishes. Doug felt a subtle movement against his hand. 

"What's it like being able to feel the baby move?" Doug asked quietly. Carol looked at him in surprise. 

"Well...It's sort of like...Well, what it is. Like something is alive inside of you. It can be a bit...odd, sometimes," Carol said. Doug grinned. "But it's amazing to realize that my baby, our baby, is inside of me. Growing, living. It's a wonderful feeling." Doug placed his ear against her stomach and stroked it gently. "Hear anything?" Carol asked. Doug chuckled. 

"Not yet," He replied. 

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Carol asked. 

"Today it's a girl," Doug replied. Carol smiled. 

"What's her name today?" Carol asked. It was a game they had started playing months before. Every day the baby's gender was different and it had a different name. 

"Hmm," Doug pondered, "how about Kerry?" 

"God, no!" Carol replied quickly. Doug laughed. 

"Joanna, then." Doug said. Carol smiled. 

"Joanna," She repeated. "I like today's name," She decided. He nodded against her. 

"Me too," He replied and slid up her body to press a kiss to her mouth. She smiled and wrapped her arms firmly around his neck. Doug forgot about work. 

o-----o 

"I like this idea," Carol said as she rolled up the sleeves of her shirt. Doug nodded. 

"Yeah, me too," He replied looking at the bare walls of the spare room they had picked out for the baby. 

"I wish we had a room downstairs," Carol said. Doug nodded. 

"We can keep the baby in our room for the first weeks." Carol looked at him quickly. 

"Really?" She asked. He chuckled. 

"Well," He moved to her, "according to that book of yours, we shouldn't have sex for weeks after the baby is born anyway," He wrapped his arms around her. "So, we might as well move the crib into our room and make the best of it with the baby," Carol giggled as he nuzzled her neck. 

"Doug! We need to wallpaper!" Carol exclaimed. 

"Mm-hmm and I need to make up for later," Doug said. Carol laughed as he pulled her gently to the floor. 

o-----o 

"Are you ready to wallpaper yet?" Carol asked Doug. He laughed. 

"Maybe," He replied and kissed her once more before helping her up off the floor and back into their clothes. 

"Noah's ark," Carol wrinkled her nose. "Now it seems a bit boy-ish to me. What if we have a girl?" She asked. He chuckled and turned towards her. 

"Carol, we agreed that this would work for a girl's room or a boy's room. And I'm not letting you drag me back to that wallpaper store," He smiled, "so we're going to do this. Here and now," Doug said. Carol smiled. 

"Alright," She agreed and rolled her sleeves up once more. 

o-----o 

Carol curled against Doug and smiled as his hands immediately moved to her bare stomach. 

"Doug, I think we're going to have to give this up soon." Carol said. He smiled. 

"Yeah, well, I'm inventive," Doug said. Carol laughed and lay her head on his shoulder. 

"Well, this eight month stomach may prove to block your creativity." Carol said. He chuckled warmly and rubbed her stomach gently. 

"Alright, baby, you win," He said. Carol laughed again. Doug looked at her. "Carol?" 

"Yes?" 

"One more time?" He asked. 

"Doug!" She exclaimed and laughed once again. 

"If it's the last time, I want once more. You probably didn't get any bigger in this past minute." 

"I wouldn't be so sure," She grinned but turned her face and her lips to his. He chuckled and kissed her again. 

o-----o 

Doug slid his key into the door and made his way into the couch. He saw Carol on the couch and he smiled at her. 

"Hey babe," She grimaced. "Carol? Are you alright?" She looked up at him, her eyes wide. 

"It's time," She said to him. His eyes widened. 

"Now?" She nodded and rubbed a hand over her stomach. A grin spread over his face. 

"Alright. How long have you been having contractions?" 

"An hour. They're about 22 minutes apart," Carol said. 

"Okay, good. You're doing great, Carol," He bent down and kissed her. She smiled. "I love you. Now...I'm going to go get your stuff," Doug said and headed back to the bedroom. 

"Doug?" Carol called. He turned back to her. "I love you too," He smiled widely and turned around once more. 

o-----o 


	3. Despite Her Wishes Chapter Three

Please title this page. (Page 1)

o-----o 

August 17th-24th 

o-----o 

This chapter takes place right after the last one. 

o-----o 

"Doug, I can't go any further," Carol said, walking towards the ER. They had had to drop the car off in the parking lot because there was no room in the ambulance bay. Doug was holding her arm, his other arm wrapped firmly around her waist to keep her steady. Carol was waddling awkwardly. 

"Yes, you can," Doug said. She glanced at him, shook her head. 

"He's right between my knees!" She exclaimed. 

"He better not be," Doug said. 

"Ohh," Carol moaned and stopped. She squeezed her eyes closed. Doug moved around in front of her and brushed a gloved hand over her face. 

"Alright, baby, alright. Hold on to me. Breath. That's good," Doug breathed with her as she dropped her head to his shoulder and moaned through clenched teeth. After a few moments she straightened as best she could and nodded. 

"Okay. Get me inside," She said. Doug chuckled. 

"You don't need me to carry you in, do you?" He asked. 

"Would you? They say walking just makes it go faster. If it goes any faster this baby will be born in the ambulance bay!" Carol breathed. He chuckled and shook his head slightly. 

"Alright, Carol. If I drop you, it's your fault," He said. She breathed deeply, in and out, basically ignoring him. He smiled and crouched a bit, supporting the back of her knees with his arm and hauled her into his arms and groaned. She couldn't help but grin a bit. 

"I'm fat," She stated. He smiled and headed toward the ER. 

"No, you're beautiful," 

"I'm a cow," She said. He chuckled. 

"Well, then, the most beautiful cow I've ever seen," He said, pushing through the ER doors. Randi and Mark looked up from the desk when the doors opened. Mark's eyes widened and he rushed around the desk as Doug placed Carol into the nearest empty wheelchair. 

"What's wrong? What happened?" Mark asked. Doug chuckled. 

"Carol says the baby is between her knees and she couldn't walk," He said and began to push Carol toward the elevators as Mark walked beside them. 

"So, you're alright?" Mark asked Carol. She smiled up at him. 

"As alright as I can be," She said. 

"How far apart are the contractions?" 

"About 17 minutes now," Doug replied. 

"Well, get her upstairs!" Mark exclaimed. Doug laughed as he stopped the wheelchair in front of the elevators and pushed one of the buttons. 

"Yes, doctor!" 

o-----o 

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" Doug asked. Carol smiled at him as he took her hand into his own. 

"I love you, Doug, but I love the epidural man more," Carol said. Doug chuckled and kissed her knuckles. Doug reached out with his free hand and rubbed her stomach gently. She smiled at him and placed her other hand on top of his. "What time is it?" Carol asked. Doug glanced at the watch on his wrist. 

"12:45," He replied. 

"Thanksgiving," Carol said. He nodded. 

"We're going to have a turkey baby," Doug said. Carol grinned. 

"Oh," She said suddenly. 

"What? What is it, Carol?" 

"I think my water just broke," Carol replied, raising her legs. Abby Lockhart, who had just come into the room and heard her statement, lifted the covers and looked in. 

"Yup, nice and clear fluid. I'll get Dr. Coburn." 

"Here we go," Doug murmured and bent over Carol, giving her a kiss as his heart thudded nervously against his chest. 

o-----o 

"Push, Carol, push," Dr. Coburn urged. Carol gripped Doug's hand and moaned as Doug counted quietly along with Dr. Coburn. "Ten, okay, relax." 

"You're doing great, darling," Doug brushed the hair off her sweaty forehead and kissed her temple. Carol shook her head. 

"I can't do it anymore," She said, tears gathering in her eyes. Doug smiled. 

"Yes you can, Carol. I've watched you through all of this, you can do it," He said. She smiled slightly and closed her eyes. 

"Carol, are you ready?" Dr. Coburn asked. Carol slowly opened her eyes and shook her head. 

"No," She replied but pushed herself up. Doug managed to get part of his body behind her and held her up, let her lean against him as he whispered comforting words into her ear. 

"Okay, Carol, push until ten," Coburn said. Carol nodded and began to push, veins popping out on her forehead as Dr. Coburn counted. A tear slid from Carol's eye and landed on Doug's shirt. "Alright, here's the head. Stop pushing, Carol! Stop pushing!" Coburn yelled. Carol groaned and her head fell back on Doug's shoulder as the baby's shoulders slid out. Doug reveled in awe at the dark hair on the child's head. His child. The baby was pulled the rest of the way out and Dr. Coburn held the baby. Doug craned his neck, trying to see if it was a boy or a girl, just as the baby let out a loud wail. Dr. Coburn grinned. 

"It's a boy!" She announced. Doug laughed in amazement as he saw the red, squalling face of his son. Carol laughed and watched as Coburn lay the baby on her chest. 

"Oh, Doug, look at him," Carol smiled and Doug bent over them, love spilling through him like warm sunshine. His son, his child. He couldn't erase the grin on his face as Carol nuzzled the baby's head to her. Carol looked up at Doug and saw the pride in his face, the joy. He kissed her quickly before he was jolted from his thoughts by Dr. Coburn, handing him a pair of scissors. His grin widened as he took the scissors. He glanced at Carol before cutting the cord where the nurse indicated. 

The baby's cries had reduced to whimpers as Carol stroked his tiny body. A nurse smiled at Carol. 

"I have to take him now," She said, "I'll bring him right back," Carol nodded and watched as Doug helped the nurse gather his son into the soft hospital blanket and take him over to the weight machine. Doug bent over Carol, took her face into his hands and kissed her firmly on the lips. She giggled and wrapped her hands around his wrists. 

"We have a son," Doug said softly. She nodded and felt him wipe a tear from her cheek. 

"We do," 

"I love you, Carol. I love you," Doug said and kissed her again. When he pulled away, Carol saw the tears shining in his eyes. 

"I love you, too, Doug." 

o-----o 

Carol lay in her hospital bed, sound asleep from exhaustion. Doug glanced at her and smiled before turning his face down to the small bundle in his arms. His son was wrapped up in a blue blanket, a small blue cap on his head. He yawned and his tiny fist hit Doug squarely on the chest. 

"Oh, I love you," Doug said quietly and watched as the baby's eyes opened just a bit. Doug grinned at the deep chocolate eyes he saw there. His son had his eyes. Doug reached up and slipped the small hat off the child's head, looking at all that dark baby hair in surprise. He hadn't expected his baby to have so much hair, so much of Carol's hair. He smiled and traced a gentle finger over the baby's dark locks. 

"You need a name, son," Doug murmured and turned quickly at the sound of a soft knock on the door. He turned and saw Mark and Elizabeth watching him. He smiled and walked to the doorway. 

"What're you doing here? It's five o'clock in the morning," Doug said quietly. Mark smiled. 

"I had the night shift and Elizabeth came when I called her to tell her about the baby," Mark replied, equally as quiet as Doug when he saw Carol sleeping. 

"He's adorable," Elizabeth said. Doug chuckled. "Look at all that hair!" 

"What's his name?" Mark asked. Doug chuckled again. 

"He doesn't have one," Doug replied, "Carol fell asleep before we could choose," Mark and Elizabeth smiled. 

"May I hold him?" Elizabeth asked. Doug nodded. 

"Sure," He replied and gently made the pass from his arms to Elizabeth's. She cooed slightly as the baby looked up at her. 

"He has your eyes," Mark said. 

"He has Carol's mouth and hair," Doug replied, watching his son as love swirled through him. The baby's face scrunched and he began to cry softly. "I think he's hungry. The nurse said he had some formula but he probably wants more." 

"Doug?" Doug turned as Carol stirred in bed, awakened by the sound of her child crying. Elizabeth gave the baby back to Doug and he walked to Carol's bed. 

"I think he's hungry," Doug said. Carol pushed herself up in bed. 

"We'll leave you three alone," Mark said and took Elizabeth's hand into his. Doug and Carol smiled at them as they exited the room. The baby continued to cry. 

"Do you think you could feed him?" Doug asked. Carol glanced up at him, a bit nervous. 

"Umm..I'll try," She replied. Doug smiled. 

"Okay, here, take him," Doug replied and Carol took her son into her arms. Doug gently instructed her how to hold the baby and watched with delight as his son latched on to Carol's breast. She gasped. 

"Oh, wow," She said. Doug smiled. 

"It'll take some getting used to," He said, stroking a hand over the baby's moving cheek. Carol shifted a bit and glanced up at him. 

"I'm glad you're here," She said. Doug smiled. 

"Me too," He said and kissed her softly. "But, guess what?" 

"What?" Carol replied. 

"Our son needs a name," He said. Carol laughed softly as she looked down at her child. 

"Yes, he does," She paused, "I still really like Aiden." 

"Me too," Doug replied. 

"Aiden it is, then. What about his middle name?" Carol asked, glancing up and meeting Doug's gaze. 

"Michael," Doug answered helpfully. She smiled. 

"Aiden Michael Ross. Has a nice ring to it," Carol said. Doug chuckled. 

"Yes, it does. So, it's settled?" He asked. Carol smiled up at him and nodded. 

"It's settled," She replied and offered her mouth to Doug's. He pressed his lips to hers and imagined the rest of his life with these two people he loved so dearly. 

o-----o 

A month later, on Christmas morning, Doug opened in his eyes and stretched his free arm. Carol was lying on his other arm and was cuddled against his chest. He smiled down at her and trailed his hand down her arm. 

He marveled in the fact that she was lying here, beside him, on Christmas morning. That she loved him and he was capable of loving her in return. He grinned slightly before carefully sliding his arm out from under her and easing away from her. She sighed in her sleep and shifted slightly but didn't wake. He crept out of the room and into the living room and smiled at the Christmas tree, with piles of presents underneath, before heading up the stairs to the nursery. 

He walked slowly into Aiden's room and peeked over the crib to meet chocolate eyes with another pair of chocolate eyes. Aiden grinned his little baby grin and kicked at the sight of George, waving his little arms about. Doug reached over and turned off the baby monitor so he wouldn't wake Carol. Then he bent over the crib and lifted his tiny son into his arms. 

"How's my man?" Doug asked and supported Aiden's head with his hand and held Aiden up in front of him, his tiny feet resting against Doug's chest. Aiden gurgled and Doug chuckled. "Are you wet? Why don't we see," Doug walked to the changing table and placed Aiden down on it. He bent over his son and kissed his neck as he unbuttoned the red sleeper that had tiny reindeers on it. Aiden bumped the side of Doug's face with his small fist and drooled a bit out the side of his mouth. Doug laughed quietly and expertly changed the baby's diaper and redressed him. 

He hoisted Aiden up and held the baby against his chest, the tiny head full of hair resting on George's shoulder. 

"Let's go get Mommy!" Doug suggested and patted Aiden's bottom slightly as he headed out of the room and down the steps. Aiden lifted his head and looked at the Christmas tree as Doug passed it on his way back to the bedroom. Doug walked into the bedroom and smiled at Carol, who had rolled onto her back sometime during Doug's journey upstairs. Doug shifted the baby in his arms until Aiden was face down and Doug had a supporting hand under his chest and neck and another holding his torso and legs. 

Doug bent onto the bed and held Aiden in front of Carol's face. Aiden gurgled and his tiny arms swung above Carol's head. 

"Mommy, Mommy, wake up! It's Christmas! I want my presents!" Doug said in a childlike voice and nudged Carol with his knees. She sighed and shifted. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" Doug said in the same voice. "Mommmmy!" He exaggerated and chuckled as Aiden bumped Carol's nose with a flying fist. Carol mumbled under her breath and opened her eyes slowly. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw her son's face above her. She glanced at Doug and laughed huskily. 

"Doug, you're insane," She said and shifted up onto her elbows as Doug pulled Aiden back a few inches. "How's my baby?" She asked and grinned when Doug replied in his baby voice. "Tell Daddy you don't sound like that!" Carol said and puckered her lips. Doug moved the baby forward and Carol brushed her lips against Aiden's and watched him grin. Doug shifted and brought Aiden down to his lap, sitting him up and leaning Aiden against him. 

"He's very responsive for a one-month-old," Doug said and let Aiden grip his fingers. Carol yawned, then lifted her hands to stretch. 

"Ahh..," She groaned a bit as she settled back. Aiden made a little impatient baby sound and Carol smiled. "Uh-oh. I think Mommy's boy is hungry!" Doug chuckled and handed Aiden to Carol. 

"I'll go light up the tree and get everything ready and you can feed him," Doug said. Carol nodded and settled back against the headboard to feed her child. Doug smiled and kissed her quickly before bounded out of the room. Carol smiled as Aiden latched on. 

"Your Daddy's a little crazy," She whispered and kissed Aiden's forehead with a wide grin on her face. 

o-----o 

"We're exhausted," Doug said. He was lying on the couch and Aiden was laying on Doug's chest, asleep. Carol smiled and pushed aside one of the toy's Helen had gotten Aiden. 

"I can see that," She said quietly and walked to the couch. She sat down and rubbed her finger over Aiden's ear. "He's such a beautiful baby. I've seen plenty of babies at work and most of them are cute, but he's beautiful," Doug smiled. 

"He's a perfect mixture of us," Doug said. Carol grinned and shook her head before lying down, stretching her legs out beside Doug's before entwining one of them with his. She slid a hand over his chest and laid her palm on Aiden's diapered bottom. 

"Today was nice," She murmured, nestling her head into Doug's shoulder. He chuckled. 

"Helen was extra nice to me today," Doug said. Carol smiled and turned her nose into his shirt, smelling that scent she loved so much. 

"When she saw how you doted on Aiden, I think you melted her heart a bit," Carol said and looked up at him. He smiled and brushed a hand through her hair. 

"So then, how many kids is it going to take to convince her?" Doug asked and laughed as Carol rolled her eyes. He brushed his lips gently against her jaw and she turned her face back to his and kissed him softly on the lips. 

"How many kids do you want?" She asked him. He lifted his eyebrows and puckered his lips, considering. 

"Two more. What about you?" He asked. She smiled. 

"Something like that," She paused. "I was really close to my sisters. We came right after one another, so we were close in age and I just liked that close knit friendship we had and I want my children to share that, too. I couldn't imagine myself without both of my sisters. We aren't exactly close nowadays, but we try," Doug nodded. 

"Well, at least we agree on the children issue. It wouldn't be good if I wanted fifteen more and you wanted one more," Doug said. Carol laughed softly. 

"If you wanted fifteen kids, I'm sorry but you'd be out of luck." Doug chuckled and ran his finger down her cheek. 

"So when is Carol Jr. coming along?" Doug asked. Carol laughed. 

"I hope we don't call her that!" Carol said. Doug chuckled. 

"Alright, then, Caroline," He suggested. Carol raised an eyebrow and shook her head. 

"No way!" She sighed. "When do you want the next one to come?" He chuckled. 

"Well, if we get started now, it might just takes us four months to get pregnant. By then Aid would be five months old and then give you another nine months and he would be over a year old. Fourteen months to be exact." 

"Or, I could get pregnant right away and Aiden would be only ten months old and we'd have two very young children. Two babies." 

"Yes, that's a possibility," Doug said and smiled. "What to do, what to do.." 

"How about we wait a few months, until Aiden is about six months old and then we start trying again. If it takes a little while, he'll be old enough and if it happens right away, he'll still be old enough," Carol suggested. Doug smiled. 

"Sounds good to me," He said. Carol smiled and pressed her lips to his again. He cupped her chin in his hand and moaned softly against her lips. She pulled away just slightly. 

"Why don't we put this little squirt to bed and get some practice for his future siblings," Carol suggested, grinning wickedly. Doug's eyebrows lifted. 

"Why, Carol Hathaway, I do believe you're trying to seduce me," Doug said, wiggling his eyebrows. She laughed and sat up on the couch, lifting Aiden into her arms. Doug stood and wrapped his arms around her waist and growled into the back of her neck. She laughed softly and began to walk up the stairs. 

o-----o 

Doug walked down the hallway, carrying Aiden in his baby seat as he headed to daycare. It was a rare day that Aiden had to go there. Normally Helen watched him, but today she and Javier were going on a senior citizen trip. Doug glanced down at his son and saw he was still asleep. Doug looked up again and saw Donald Anspaugh turn around the corner and head his way. Doug smiled briefly and was going to continue on but Donald stopped him. 

"Dr. Ross?" Doug paused and looked at him. 

"Dr. Anspaugh," Doug replied. 

"I need to talk to you. Meet me in my office after you take this little guy to daycare," Donald smiled down at Aiden before looking back up at Doug. Doug nodded. 

"Alright," He shifted on his feet and watched Dr. Anspaugh smile and walk off. Doug shook his head and continued walking. 

o-----o 

Ten minutes later, Doug knocked on Anspaugh's door. 

"Come in," He heard from inside. He slowly opened and peeked his head in before coming in the full way, shutting the door behind him. Donald smiled. "Have a seat," He said and placed a piece of paper into a pile before turning back to Doug, as Doug sat in the chair. Doug cleared his throat and met Anspaugh's gaze. "Do you enjoy working on the pedes floor?" Donald asked. Doug shrugged. 

"Well, I like it. Being able to help the children. But it's not the same as the ER. You get to know patients upstairs," Doug replied. 

"Do you like the fast pace of the ER better?" Doug ticked his head to the side and glanced out the window briefly. 

"Yes, I suppose I do," He replied. Donald nodded. 

"So, if I were to offer you a position in the ER, would you take it?" Donald asked. Doug paused and nearly let his mouth fall open. 

"Well, I uh...I guess it depends on the position and the requirements." 

"Requirements?" 

"Who I will be working under...," Doug trailed off and Donald caught the hint. 

"So if I was to offer you a position where you would be working as an emergency care pediatrician and under me, not Kerry or Mark, you'd take it?" 

"What about Cleo?" Doug asked. 

"She quit," Donald answered. 

"What? Why?" 

"I don't really know the details, but I think it has something to do with Peter Benton," Dr. Anspaugh said. Doug raised his eyebrows. 

"Ah," He replied. Donald nodded. 

"So, would you be interested in her position?" 

"Just like that?" Doug asked, a bit suspicious. 

"Dr. Ross, I know you're a great doctor. You may not follow the rules exactly as the hospital would like, but you are one of the greatest pediatrician's I've ever worked with. And since you left, I've had to evaluate my own job," Dr. Anspaugh sighed. "You remember my son, Scotty? He died from cancer," Doug nodded and shifted slightly in his chair. "If something had happened to him where it was necessary for his doctor to do something that didn't follow the rules, but would have made Scotty better, I would have wanted that doctor to do everything he could in his power, regardless of what the rules were. And I realized that as I evaluated myself as a doctor. I can't fault you for your patient care and that's what is supposed to be important. The people, the patients. I may not agree with everything you do, but it's always in the best interest of the patient and that's what this hospital needs," He paused. "So, if you're interested, you'll be given your old job back as pediatric attending in the ER. And you will not have to answer to Mark or Kerry, they will be your equals. Any and all problems you have with them should come to me." 

"I guess," Doug paused, "I'll accept," Doug grinned slightly, "I really want that job," Donald grinned. 

"Great! So, now, to discuss your schedule," Anspaugh started and Doug couldn't contain the huge smile of happiness on his face. He got his old job back. Now everything could be the same, be normal. He sighed and couldn't wait to tell Carol.' 

o-----o 

"Oh, yeah, there's was something sort of important I wanted to tell you," Doug said as he and Carol walked into the front door of the house. Carol shifted the baby carrier in her arms and looked at him. 

"What's that?" She asked, closing the door behind her and setting Aiden on the floor so she could take off her coat and shoes. 

"Well, this morning when I was taking Aiden to daycare, Anspaugh stopped me in the hall," Carol's head whipped up and she looked at him, standing there, talking nonchalantly. 

"What for?" 

"Oh, he wanted me to meet him in his office," Doug shrugged. "So, I went to his office after I dropped Aiden off," Carol slid out of her jacket and watched him intently. "He asked me how I liked the job upstairs and I told him it was alright and he asked if I liked the ER better. So, I told him the truth and said yes. Then he told me how Cleo quit because of something Peter did," Doug paused and took a deep breath. "So, Anspaugh told me that even though I didn't follow the rules very well, I was one of the best pediatrician's he had ever worked with and that the patients were what should be important. So he offered me my old job back as the ER pediatric attending and I start tomorrow," Carol's jaw dropped. "No big deal." 

"No big deal? No big deal!?" Carol exclaimed and jumped into his arms. 

"You're going to work in the ER again?" She asked. Doug chuckled. 

"Yes, I am," He replied. Carol's face lit up with a huge smile and she pressed her mouth to his with excitement and wrapped her arms around his neck. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground and squeezed her tightly. 

"Oh, this is great!" Carol exclaimed when he placed her back on her feet. Doug laughed and kissed her again. 

o-----o 

The next night, Doug came into the house, a huge smile on his face. Carol grinned up at him from her perch on the couch where she was feeding Aiden. She had just gotten home herself about an hour ago. 

"How was work?" She asked. He laughed and sat beside her, kissing her with a flourish. She giggled. 

"It was great! I didn't lose any patients but I saved a few lives. Helped a few kids," The grin stayed on his face. "It was like coming home!" Carol laughed softly. 

"I'm glad it was a good day for you," She said. He sighed and picked up her left hand, rubbing his finger over the diamond engagement ring sitting there. That had been sitting there, alone, for so long. Carol slid her hand away from his as Aiden finished and she lifted him up, patting his back until he burped as Doug sat quietly, watching. 

"I'll put him upstairs," Doug said quietly. Carol nodded. 

"Alright," She replied and shifted the baby over to Doug. He took him upstairs and Carol lay her head back on the couch, closing her eyes and smiling. She opened her eyes and turned her head as she heard Doug coming down the stairs. He sat beside her on the couch again and leaned over, kissing her gently. She smiled and rubbed her hand over his cheek. 

"Carol, there's something I want to discuss," Doug said. Carol nodded slowly, seeing the serious look on his face. 

"Okay," She said, slightly confused. Doug paused and reached down, taking her left hand into his own. 

"I love you," He said and looked at her. She smiled and lifted an eyebrow. 

"You know I love you, too, Doug," She replied. He smiled softly and nodded. 

"I know. Anyway...I know I gave you this ring a long time ago," Doug said, rubbing his finger over it and Carol nearly gasped, realizing what he wanted to talk about. She opened her mouth to speak but he held up a finger. "Nearly two years ago," He trailed off and looked down at the ring. "Your my life. You and Aiden. Even though I love my job, I could do without it. I need you and Aiden. I know we haven't really talked about it, but I want it to all be official. I want you to be my wife," Doug said and looked up at her, ready to let her speak again. Carol's eyes had filled with tears and she smiled warmly. 

"Oh, Doug." 

"I don't want to wait anymore. I love you, you love me. We have a son. I'm ready..And I hope you're ready. I just..," Carol lifted her hand and pressed her fingers to his lips to silence him. He stopped and met her watery gaze with his nervous one. 

"I'm ready," She whispered. Doug's smiled spread like wildfire. 

"I know we've been through some hard times," Doug paused, "Some really hard times, but I promise to always be there for you, no matter what," He said. Carol wiped at the single tear that slid down her cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck and turned her face into it. 

"I love you, Doug. I want to be your wife. Forever and always," She whispered. He smiled wildly and turned his head into her hair as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her close, cherishing her. 

His life was finally together. He had an amazing fiancé, a beautiful son, and a job he loved. What more could a man ask for? 

o-----o 


End file.
